Wendy Williams hit the nail on the head during her after show when she stated that one should “never let go of the little girl in you.” Though she was referring to an interview she had done with a member of her co-host audience, the statement Wendy made was powerful.
In coaching and consulting with individuals and organizations on how to effectively let go, I have found that in the process of gaining fame and fortune, people lose (or move away from) their true essence. As a result, they spend lots of time redefining their identity. Some never finish redefining themselves and get stuck between their essence and finding a new identity. The real beauty of Wendy Williams and her many physical reiterations of her identity is she never lost her essence in the process. The essence of a person is hard to change, even when one wants to make that change. In order to “let go and redefine your essence there are some steps that must be taken. Below are two of the many steps in the process of letting go of the old you, otherwise known as redefining yourself.
The first step in rediscovering your true essence, some refer to as identifying core values, is to commit to being perfectly honest with yourself about who you are today. Tell yourself the truth about who you are. If you lie to yourself, then you will only set your redefinition process up for failure. The Shakespearean quote, “to thine own self be true” is very applicable for success of this step, and throughout this entire process. This first step is a must and for some might be difficult to do as it takes great courage to be true to yourself.
The next step, among many, is to take a journey to your past. Reflect on your past experiences and people who influenced your beliefs and ways of being. Selectively reach out to the people in your past and ask them about how you were back then. For example, I remember at a book signing in Atlanta an old friend came to the signing and shared that she was not surprised that I wrote a book about letting go. She shared that one of the phrases I used to say in high school was, “just let it go.” I had no idea (had totally forgotten) that I used to say that in high school. Once I reflected on what she told me, I remembered that I did use to say that phrase. When you begin to reflect in more detail on your past, it will help you to better understand about the choices you make in the present. Keep in mind that reflecting on the past is very different from “holding on to the past.” As you reflect, be mindful not to get stuck in the past.
These two steps alone can put you on the path of redefinition of self. However, please know that there is so much more to this process.