I know, everyone talks about letting go these days. I was talking about it LONG before it became in vogue. Let me share something with you that has absolutely changed my life. It is not new, but IT IS SOMETHING THAT WORKS and I believe it can change your life as well.The July 2007 Letting Go of Stuff tip is about admitting that you actually do have something you want to “let go of” or change in your life. I know LOTS of folks (and I bet you do too) who BELIEVE that only others have stuff. When they see the title of my book, the first thing they say is, “I know exactly who needs this…” and they often get it as a gift to give away – and that is a good thing.
BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU? Perhaps you are in denial about your stuff. Only you know. WHAT CHANGED MY LIFE is being able to accept that I, as the author of the book titled Letting Go of Stuff, have stuff too. YES! I have stuff.
Everyone has stuff, something they want to change about themselves. The key is to ACCEPT AND ACKNOWLEDGE that you have stuff. Many are in denial. SO, how do you know when you have stuff and what can be done to get you to the point in which you accept it, so you can LET IT GO?
Well first, we have to DEFINE STUFF in order to know whether we have it. Stuff is defined in my book (p. 2) as the intangible, random thoughts that keep you from being able to accomplish what you want in life. Guilt, shame, frustration, anger, dislikes for ones self, holding on to past events as if they happened today, and the like. That is stuff. Some of us live and flounder in stuff. Some of us have an innate ability to shake things off, and keep moving forward. Either way, we all have stuff and there is not avoiding that fact. A great question is, “how to we manage our stuff, and thus, let it go?
Well, a part of letting go of stuff is in what we say to ourselves about our “stuff.” The internal conversation is key. Talking to your self is not a problem. The challenge is in what you say to your self. The MOST POWERFUL conversations you will ever have, are the ones you have with your SELF. That is the conversation that you will believe in the most, whether you realize it or not. That is the conversation that your subconscious reacts to, which leads to your overt actions.
In chapter three (p. 35) of my book I quote the theologian Martin Luther. He is credited with saying, “Faith is permitting ourselves to be seized by the things we do not see.” He is not referring to he things we cannot see in the darkness, but the things we fail to recognize in the light. When a person is in denial of having stuff – they are living as a blind person. It is only when you begin to recognize and face your stuff, that you truly begin to see.
Accepting and acknowledging that you have stuff is not a sign of weakness, but of strength. It is an indication of how much you truly love YOU. Do you love self? I know that for some of us, we have to overcome many internal conversations before we can even admit to loving ourselves. For example, part of the internal conversation that some people have to deal with before they can actually claim love for self is that loving one’s self is being too selfish. This kind of thinking can only lead to feelings of guilt, anguish, and frustration. The fact is that we are love, we were all created out of love, the Universe/God is love, so therefore loving one’s self is part of the natural order of things. This is why, when you don’t love yourself, there is so much anguish and feelings of frustration (among other things). You are going against the natural order of things when you don’t love YOU.
Letting Go of Stuff™ is also about getting to know your self. When I coach people who are having relationship challenges, I don’t suggest that they work things out with their partner or spouse, I begin initially with looking inside of that person. You see, we have to first develop a relationship with SELF before we develop a relationship with anyone else. Here is the kicker – if you can’t get along with your self, then what makes you think you will get along with anyone else? Think about it.
Take the time to examine your life and your stuff. What do you want to change, make better, and let go of? Use your courage to face your STUFF, acknowledge your STUFF, and then begin the process of Letting Go of Stuff.™ Begin today!!
You owe it to your self AND you deserve it.
Until next time…
Darren L. Johnson, The Letting Go Pro