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Letting Go Cafe 
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Have you ever thought about adding a little bit more than just your thoughts? I mean, what you say is critical and every little thing. But its got no punch, no pop! Perhaps in the event you added a pic or two, a video? You could have such a much more potent weblog in case you let individuals SEE what youre talking about as opposed to just reading it.
Awesome! Thanks for your constructive comment and suggestion. I will do just what you suggested and add more picts and video. My goal is to give my readers more of what they want. Please subscribe to the blog so you will be able to experience the changes as it grows. Take care.
Capitol One continues to (call me!) hound me on a recovery of an outstanding debt … I was advised that I could write them directly and ask them to stop calling! Iattemted a Chapter 13 almost 6 years ago but it was dismissed as I couldn’t keep up with payments, and have not had contact since … I was advised at one time “old debts after 7 years” are “dropped off.” So my questions to you are as follows:
Do old debts get dropped off if you have no contact with the credit agencies?
Will I jepordize my “old debts drop off” if that’s “true” .. if I write to Capitol One and ask them to quite contacting me?
Thank you …. very much. What a nice nice guy !
Linda Kabealo
HI Linda. How are you? Thanks for visiting the Letting Go Cafe.
I am an expert in the area of Letting Go of Stuff – and know how to get you through these times – emotionally. It sounds as though you have a handle on the emotional stuff associated with being in debt. Therefore, I will offer the following resources.
I totally understand being in debt up to your chin and want to offer this resource for you. Its a great manual for getting out of debt. Click HERE..
I also think this resource will help many others. Another great resource for helping you to LET GO of your debt is a book by Kevin Trudeau. It is called DEBT CURES.
Letting go of debt is a great way to become free – in this country. Many have become debt free, which means that you can too.
All the best and thanks for visiting the Letting Go Cafe..
if its ok to hold on to some beliefs of yours that make you happy and peaceful
Hi Nisha. Thanks for your question about holding on to beliefs that make you happy and peaceful.
In a word, the answer to your question is – ABSOLUTELY!!
The seven step process for letting go is for those things (negative emotions, thought patterns, unwanted habits, and toxic relationships to name a few) that keep you stuck in a rut. Those things that keep you from moving forward and create unhappiness, inner turmoil, and fear on an on going basis are what you want to let go.
If you have beliefs that keep you feeling happy and peaceful – by all means keep them. Cherish them. And honor them – always – as long as they work for you.
That said, IF at any time, those same beliefs begin to work against you, as beliefs can sometimes do, THEN its important for you to be willing to examine them and decide – at that time – whether or not to continue to hold on to those beliefs.
Thanks again for asking and for visiting the BLOG.. Your question may help someon e else who has the same question, but just didn’t ask.
PS – You should subscribe to this blog so you can be notified about new posts and questions.
I met this guy almost 7 years ago and pretty much from the instant I met him, I have had this intuition that this was the one for me. Funnily enuf, both of us were in different relationships at that point but eventually we did end up together. After an amazing 3 year relationship, he did break up with me. It’s been 2 years since the break up (1st year was very hard) but my intuition about this guy still remains the same. We still have an amazing connection and I meet him once every couple months. I am happy seeing him every time. I date other people but somehow at the back of my mind always know that I will end up with this guy. Some of my friends hate this and keeping asking me to let go. I strongly feel that I am not on the wrong path. The reason I am reaching out is to find out
Hi Nisha.
When it comes to love – no one I have ever come across has all of the answers. You MUST follow your heart. You MUST listen to your spirit when it comes to love. You MUST have the courage to do what is most beneficial for you and your well being.
Nisha, you mentioned that you love this guy, but what you did not mention is whether he loves you. You mentioned that you always are “happy seeing him” when you meet every couple of months – BUT- you did not mention whether he is happy seeing you. Here is a thought. Maybe he is happy meeting because he is getting the freebies and the convenience of a casual relationship – without the commitment (just maybe).
The way I see it, you have to have a heart to heart conversation with this guy. Cut out the casual stuff and find out if he wants to have a real relationship. At the next casual meeting you have with him; tell him how you feel about him. Be open and honest. Let him decide if he wants to continue, after he knows the truth, the whole truth and nothing else.
Now, I am saying all of the above while assuming that you want more than this casual meeting every couple of months. At least that is what your message reads like.
As for your friends and their perspectives, I say – follow YOUR heart, not theirs. Listen to them. Respect their opinions. Honor them as friends. But at the end of the day – its your heart you must follow.
Love will make you do crazy things. Sometimes love will cause you to wander down paths that you never thought you would consider. For those who don’t have that kind of courage, they just don’t understand. At the same time, love can confuse you and put you on a self destructive path. Its up to you to decide whether or not the path you are currently on is self destructive.
Having the heart to heart with this guy will help you to let go. Once you let go – it is only then that you will know which path is the best one for you.
It begins with two open, honest, and serious conversations. The first one with yourself. The second one with him.
You really don’t want to end up wasting years of your life away waiting on a relationship that is based on a hunch. Get some real answers and make some definite decisions about this relationship. Then you will be able to truly let go.
Let me know what you decide Nisha.
Hi Mr. Johnson, I’m a writer with Albuquerque’s Local iQ, bi-weekly arts and culture mag. I’m on a books beat and I wondered if you have any upcoming speaking engagements in the area? A friend told me about your last month’s talk and I’m sorry I missed it. We’d be interested in publicizing your book and your presentations if we knew about upcoming events. Thanks for any help.
Hi Sleepless in Tennessee. Thank you for visiting the blog and asking for the free advice. I appreciate your question and here is my response.
I have some suggestions for you and some things for you to seriously consider.
Suggestions:
1-if you don’t already have one, please consider getting a journal and writing about this experience. Journaling is a great way to release frustrations, help feel better, and gain clarity about any situation.
2-in your journal – write and respond to the following questions: How much do I love ME?
Next question, What can I do to increase the love I have for ME? Third question,What do I want for MY life?
3-for the next 30 days, DO NOT communicate with this man in any way. That means no email, phone calls, or late night temptations better known as booty calls. NOTHING. No communication at all.
Now, before you do number 3, you must let him know that you need this time and space away – not from him – but from the situation.
4-if you can – stop taking help from him (if he is still offering it to you). This is what is keeping you unnecessarily connected to him. That additional connection to the money and help is also complicating this situation more than it needs to be.
5-find someone who is willing to be your pal/buddy during the 30 days. A female friend that you can count on and who will NOT make you feel bad about your self as you go through this process.
6-finally, make sure to answer the questions I posed in the beginning of this message. Really think about the answers to those questions during the 30 days you are away from this man.
If you do the 6 things above, I can almost guarantee that you will find the answers you need to make the BEST decision for this situation.
Consider this:
He may be playing an emotional game with you by telling you he loves you, and then taking it back, while at the same time giving you money. But, we won’t REALLY know because he is not in this conversation.
You deserve better than that Sleepless. Don’t you?
Hit me back in 30 days, after you have done all of the steps I suggested.
Sleepless, in your journal, be completely honest with yourself, with the thoughts, feelings, the events. Sometimes what we write can even be embarassing to ourselves, but it is so powerful and liberating to write it honestly. During your 30 day period Darren outlined, it will be important to change your mind when you begin thinking of him or what used to be. Change the thinking immediately. You may be changing all day every day, but you CAN DO IT. I understand the power of love (and loving love) and even the sometimes resulting pain, so I tell you from experience that it will take work with the mind, to lead the heart. Know that you are WORTH that work. We’re adults–we know how to have relationships. We certainly know how to go after and get what we want. We even know how to make excuses. Instead of being a convenience, choose to be confident in you. It is ok to let go…of people, of their things, of the pain and confusion associated with them…it is ok to let go. We are worth the work. (Whew, I needed to hear that! Got some letting go to complete for myself!)
Benita. Thanks so much for supporting Sleepless in her quest for FREEDOM from “love” in this relationship.
Sleepless, keep checking back to this site as I am sure you will get more advice from so many who have traveled down the same road in which you are currently traveling.
All the best and thanks again.
I was in a relationship with a man that just ended 3 months ago I am having a hard time letting go because he wants to continue to be friends but with benefits if you know what I mean without saying. I love him deeper than a friend but all he wants is friendship no commitment. We lived together for a year. He had once told me he loved me but retracted on that and said he did not know what love was. He helped me get another place and help me with other financial things.
My heart is breaking but he is still very good to me I am so very confused as to what to do do you have any suggestions?
Sleepless in Tennessee
I have a public storage unit that I really need to get rid of. It is a large unit and it is an extra expense that I do not need right now. While I know most of the stuff in there I do not want, I can never bring myself to get rid of it. When I’m at home I am motivated to throw everything away, but when I start sifting through things, I want to keep it all. How can I bring myself to let go of most of that stuff?
I have a long time desire to go to mortuary school and get my degree as a Funeral Director. I’m concerned about how my family and friends will view me. I’m at the point in my life where I don’t care about what others may think of me, but the reality we should care what others think about us.
Hi Ann. Thanks for your comment. Another very critical component of Letting Go of Stuff is the pursuance of your dreams. Not pursuing your life long dream can lead to a feeling of lack of worth, unhappiness, and constant internal turmoil in some ways.
My suggestion is to go after your dream and do not let what others may think keep you from pursuing it. At the end of the day, you are responsible for how your life turns out – not others. At the end of the day, yours is the only true reflection in the mirror – there are no others.
According to Shuangyue Zhang of Sam Houston State University and Susan L. Kline of The Ohio State University making decisions based on what others may think is a cultural characteristic. Not pursuing a life long dream because of what others may think is due in part on your culture, how much confidence you have in your SELF to pursue your dreams, and what your core values are regarding the mores of your culture.
Based on the interaction I have with clients who reach a point in their lives where they are stuck in a rut and feeling stifled because of not pursuing their dreams, I would advise you to go against your fear of the thoughts of others.
When you ask yourself about your accomplishments, is pursuing this particular dream high in the ranking? If so, then you owe it to yourself to make it a reality.
Finally, make sure that worrying about what others may think is NOT an excuse, rather than a reason – for not going after your dream. If it is an excuse, then the primary person holding you back – really – is you, not others.
Take care.
Deep thought! Thanks for conttiburing.
Thanks for visiting the Letting Go cafe Margo. Hope you will continue to come back and check out both the new and old posts.
I need to find a good doctor, one that will actually listen to me. What should I do?
Hi Meredith.
Thanks for your comment.
One of the keys to letting go of stuff is in gathering information about a particular problem or challenge. Once you have gathered information, you can then make an informed decision about how to let go of stuff. My response below is under the assumption that you are referring to a medical doctor.
In your case, you want to be informed about how to find a doctor who will listen to you before making any kind of prognosis and/or diagnosis. One of the best ways to accomplish this is to first find a doctor. You can do so by clicking HERE and typing in the kind of doctor and the city. Another place where you can find a doctor is HERE.
After you have found a doctor, the next step is to then make contact. Call the office and ask to speak with the doctor. Depending on the size of the office, you may have a chance to talk directly with the doctor(s). The overall demeanor of the office will be determined by the way it is managed and the personality of the doctor or office manager.
If you can’t speak directly with the doctor(s), ask to speak with the receptionist or office manager.
When you do get someone on the phone, conduct an interview; its your right as a potential patient. Share with them what is important to you as a potential client. Tell them you need to be heard by the doctor. Let them know what is most important to you. If they respond to you with caring and compassion, then its a good chance that doctor will do the same. If they don’t, then go on to the next office.
On the other hand, most compassionate doctors will either call you back, or depending on the patient load at the time that you call, they will speak with you on the spot.
Good luck with your search Meredith.